December 2013, Winter

Already in my home city hundreds of thoughts and memories come alive, especially these days. I do love the Caribbean and its warm waters but I also crave these endless dark winter nights where the air is so cold and silent that you can perceive the tiny icy crystals glittering in the dark and the Full Cold Moon has an ethereal halo that captures me every time I look at “her”.

Cold, dark, and starry nights.

Trees are dormant and naked projecting distorted shadows with their twisted branches in the wet ground. Ancient churches wait patiently in the bare meadows covered in snow, calm, and reminding me that they have seen centuries of history while keeping secrets hidden within their medieval walls of cold thick stone.

I love walking in the woods. I can barely notice an animal; all of them are either hibernating or gone, except a lonely wolf that I know for sure, is miles away. Solitude. Dry branches snap under my feet wounding the frost silence. Ancient oaks surround me whispering secrets to the fragrant pines; the wind blows within them murmuring a familiar howling sound. My favorite time of the day is coming, twilight; soon the invisible fairy people will be awake to dance under the moonlight.

Breathing this thick and icy air makes me feel more alive than ever, the cold nights are limpid with the most beautiful shimmering skies; the stars shine like diamonds, glittering and illuminating the gloomy night. Orion, the mighty mythological hunter, lies right in the middle of the winter sky and it leads to a beautiful cluster of stars known as the Pleiades, the seven sisters.

One day I will be able to capture all these stars with my camera, in the meantime I try to do it with words although no words can describe this beauty and happiness.

You should learn when to go

And again I had to witness a couple that seemed to be happy but their day ended in tears. It’s amazing how fragile is the carcass we see: it looks perfect, stunning, strong and shines like a diamond when suddenly you realize it’s just a piece of crystal that can be shattered into a thousands of pieces… fragile, weak and really thin.

This lovely woman and his boyfriend came with us, a friend and I, to spend a whole day island hopping. We had a lovely time at Salt Island, Norman Island and finally reached Nanny Cay where my friend and I succumbed in the dinghy dead tired. Two hours later we were ready to go back to Virgin Gorda.

But someone didn’t jump in the dinghy. She asked him “Are you coming back with us?” … With no answer. This rhetoric question annoys the hell out of me. Especially when they guy doesn’t respond; he just stared at her and sat there with his friends while we were leaving. Mute. Speechless. A mommy, a statue without soul or personality.

The answer was pretty obvious: Stay and party with his friends while the love of his life is abandoned alone in front of everybody to come back home and do laundry or other stuff. She returned home covered in tears and feeling that she was treated like trash, and of course it wasn’t the first time. All she said she just wanted to be treated like a princess.

And my question for guys who act like this is: Do you want a slave or a princess? Perhaps you passed the passion stage and are happy in that comfortable zone where you grow up your belly until you reach the pregnancy look and just do nothing about you and the relationship you are in. But it’s not your fault, is some women’s fault because at the end of the day they have to love themselves more than you or anybody else. Their mistake was to forget about themselves in order to give you everything in exchange of nothing but ignorance and despise from you. They’ve left friends and family to form one, not to mother you.

This is for all the girls who feel like this, this is not the end of the world, start loving yourselves more and realize that a man has to make you smile not cry. Enough is enough.